In a statement just released by the Vatican it has been announced that Pope Benedict-Eggs will be retiring to "spend more time with his family".
The Pope said he hoped to be joining them for the Easter school holidays.
Meanwhile bookmakers are saying it looks like it will be an even fight between Tony B-Liar, a recent convert to the faith and Mahmound Ahmad-Dinnerplate; which rises the prospect of the first Muslim Pope!
In further news it has been revealed that the missing Irish race horse, Shergar, has been found hiding in a freezer in the board room at Findus's HQ.
The Epsom Derby winner has it is believed been operating a labelling fraud from there for the last thirty years involving Findus's vegetarian products. None of which have been found to contain any vegetables!
However, the most shocking of all news has been the announcement that Rupert Murdoch is considering dropping topless models from page three of the Sun.
Following on with his successful launch of The Gay Marriage Times in the HoCs last week it is believed the Village People have been asked to appear instead.